Breathing
by contagiouschemi
Summary: Talk to me. Look at me. I'm here. Breathing. A Rose/Scorpius fic with a bit of a twist. Disclaimer: Everything you recognise is J.K.Rowling's. the poetry is mine.
1. Hyperventilation

**Chapter 1**

Tears were flowing from my eyes. I immediately took out my note parchment and quill. I wrote my feelings on that one sheet. My only talent, I felt, was to write poetry. As soon as I had a quill in my hand the words flowed out of me. As I wrote I fell into complete hysteria. The only relief for my emotions was to write. I knew exactly the reason I was like this and the reason I wrote this:

_Falling,_

_Can you hear me?_

_Falling,_

_Into deep despair,_

_Leave me,_

_To wallow in my own sorrow._

I, Rose Weasley, was in love, and it was killing me. Who, may you ask, am I in love with? Ah, that, my friend, is a very easy question, something my dad, would not condone. I was in love, with none other than Scorpius Malfoy. You also may ask why it causes me such pain. One reason, I am so deeply in love with him, yet it is unrequited. I've heard the whole, "how can you be in love, you don't know what love feels like," stuff. I do know what it feels like though. I should, considering I've been feeling it for the past five years. I've felt it ever since the end of my first year, when he sat in the same compartment as me on the train ride home. I had looked in detail at him, as he was sleeping. I looked at his high cheek bones, and his white blonde hair, yes, it is white blonde. I looked at his greyish-blue eyes, and his pink lips. It was at that moment, that I knew I was in love. My dad had told me not to become close to him, and really I wasn't disobeying him. I wasn't close to him at all; I was in my dreams, but not in real life. My outburst was due to the fact that my cousin, Albus, whom I was staying with till the end of the holidays because my parents were on a romantic holiday, had invited his best friend, next to me, was staying with him for the same time period that I was. That friend was none other than Scorpius Malfoy. I had only just found out, one day prior to the day that I was de to leave home. My mum had told me, due to the fact that my dad hated anything to do with the Malfoys. I had had to run out the room to stop myself from crying around them, I may be close to my parents, but I never tell them about my feelings about things. I guess it could go well, he could talk to me and we could become friends, but that would never be enough for me, I would always want more.

Involved in my own feelings, I began to scratch my arm. That was my coping mechanism, most of the time I didn't even realise I was doing it, I just do it. The scars ran all the way up both of my arms. I wasn't proud of it, but I couldn't help it, it's a lot like an addiction.

* * *

"Rose," my mum called.

"Just coming mum." My parents were going to leave after they escorted me and my brother Hugo to my Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny's house in Godric's Hollow. I walked down the stairs to the living room where my parents and Hugo were standing with all of our trunks.

"Be good, don't bother your Aunt and Uncle too much, and have a good time. We will owl you as soon as we get there. Love you." My mum said before giving me and Hugo a hug. My dad, not known for big gestures apart from when he kissed my mum for the first time, the story I had been told many a time, gave me a quick hug before giving Hugo one.

We took the floo network to my Aunt and Uncle's. My mum said goodbye to us again, then her and dad went.

"Hey guys," my Uncle Harry said.

"Hi, so rose, you'll be staying in the guest room on the east wing, next to Lily's, Hugo, you'll be staying in the guest room in the west wing next to Al's. Scorpius isn't here yet. See you later." My Aunt Ginny told us. We left them and I headed off in the opposite direction to Hugo.

When I reached my room, I collapsed onto the bed. As soon as I had though, my Aunt had called for me. I met her in the living room with Uncle Harry, Lily, James, and Al.

"Hey Al, what's up?" I said trying to keep my cool, I knew what all this was in aid of. Scorpius was about to arrive. Suddenly a green flash appeared in the grate of the fire, and the man of my affections stepped out. Somehow, he looked more handsome than I remembered him.

"Hi," he said.


	2. Invisibility

Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

My heart skipped a beat when I heard Scorpius speak; his voice was so pure, yet so rugged. He was wearing a 'Magical Death' concert t-shirt; with a plain pair of jeans, it was amazing how good he looked in something so plain and simple. I'd never seen him without sleeves. It shocked me how he had such sculpted muscles. His whole body, well, what I could see, looked as though it had been sculpted by Michelangelo. It had me in awe.

"So, what's up?" he asked. My Aunt and Uncle told him where he was staying, in Al's room, which meant I knew where I could go spy on him. I may not strike you as the type that would stalk someone, but with me, the saying, 'there's more than meets the eye' comes in very handy. To anyone apart from Al, I am a smart, bookish character with long, straight red hair that keeps herself to herself and would know better than to fall in love with someone. I only tell Al about my inner feelings, he knows exactly how I feel about Scorpius, he knows all about my poetry, I sometimes let him read the less vivid examples, he also knows about my self-harming. The good thing about Al is the fact that he makes no comment about it. He doesn't try to stop me from doing it. He doesn't tell anyone, he knows that that is just how I am.

We all walked out of the room, I returned to my guest room, and began to write.

_Am I invisible?_

_Can anyone else see me?_

_You can't,_

_You just look right on past me._

_I'm beginning,_

_To not be able to,_

_Cope!_

I realised, a few minutes later, that I was scratching myself again, and had drawn blood. I walked to the en-suite bathroom and washed the blood off then I heard a knock on my door. Quickly, I ran to hide my poetry, and slid down my sleeves.

"Rosie, it's just me, there's no need to hide anything." Al shouted from the other side of the door. This was how he found out about it all, he had entered my room, a year or so back, and had forgotten to knock when he saw blood running down my arms. I ran to the door and opened it.

"Al, sorry I didn't greet you properly earlier," I said whilst giving him an enormous bear hug. I may be _fragile_ but I am famed for my amazing hugs.

"How are you feeling? I'm so sorry about all of this, I didn't think."

"It's alright, and I'm alright, I have ways of coping," I told him, a sombre smile playing on my lips.

"Let's see them," he said, "the poetry too." I showed him my arms. He traced his fingers over my self inflicted wounds, reaching my most recent one last. I then showed him my latest poem. He read it slowly, lines of worry appeared on his forehead.

"Oh Rosie," he said when he had finished reading. He pulled me to his chest, which was easy for him to do, considering he had received the tall Weasley gene, the one which my dad got.

"I'm so sorry about what I'm putting you through. If I could re-do it, I would."

"It's alright Al, I don't blame you, I blame myself, for falling in love with him."

"Rosie, you can't help how you feel." Al was the only person I allowed to call me Rosie, even my parents didn't.

We stayed there, Al hugging me closely, until Aunt Ginny called for dinner. This was the time I had been dreading. I sat next to Al, who coincidentally had Scorpius on his other side, and Hugo. There was a happy air around the dinner table, until Uncle Harry asked a question, I would have happily answered.

"So, any news on your Head Boy and Girl positions?" he asked whilst looking at me, for I was about to enter my seventh and final year at Hogwarts. I was shocked to receive a Head Girl badge along with my regular Hogwarts letter. My mum was so happy; she bought me a goblin-made silver bracelet. I was surprised to find out that she hadn't told everyone she knew.

I was about to answer, when suddenly Scorpius spoke up.

"I got Head Boy," he told us all. I began to splutter and choke. Al began to pat my back, and everyone was asking if I was ok. If only they new how far I was from ok. I quickly gained my composure.

"What was that about?" my Aunt asked me.

"Oh, nothing," I mustn't have sounded very convincing, because Auntie Ginny raised her eyebrow at me.

"Seriously, I was only being silly, the fact is, that I'm Head Girl, and I was going to reply to Uncle Harry's question, I guess Scorpius caught me off guard."

"Oh, I see," Aunt Ginny winked at me, to which I replied with a frown, "I'm quite surprised that Hermione hasn't already told us."

"That's what I was thinking; she even got me a bracelet to celebrate."

"Ooh, let me see," Ginny said. She looked at the bracelet on my wrist, she almost pulled my sleeve up to get a proper look at it, but I pulled my arm back.

"Is it Goblin Made?" my Uncle asked.

"Yes, at least, that's what mum said."

"This is so unlike Hermione, she would normally jump at the chance to show off. Yet she didn't tell us."

"Oh well, I guess she just forgot."

"Anyways," Ginny said, "congratulations to the both of you."

I was on Auto-pilot for the rest of dinner. I mean, why the hell is Scorpius Head Boy, over Al? I guess Al is too quiet in class, but that doesn't matter, he's second in our year, next to me. The thing that really caught me off guard was when I remembered the fact that Scorpius and I would be sharing a common room. I thought my final year would be a lot of fun, So much for that idea.

A/N: i like reviews...


	3. Effervescent

**Chapter 3**

My first two days with my family went by quickly. Most of the time I hug out with Lily, sometimes I'd stay in my room moping. It wasn't till the third day that anything really happened. After breakfast I was in my room, not really doing anything. There was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I called. Al walked in the door and sat down next to me on the bed.

"Hey Rosie, are you doing anything today?"

"Um, no, I don't think so, why?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to go for a fly about with me………. and Scorpius."

"Um, well-"

"It could be an opportunity for you and him to bond."

"I guess."

"You'll come?"

"Sure, just let me get ready."

"Aren't you already? You look fine."

"Exactly, I can't look just fine, I need to look stunning."

"Rosie, we're going flying, he's not going to notice. Anyway, you should be able to stun him with your oh-so quirky personality."

"Yes, he will, I will. It gives me self confidence, leave it at that."

"Eh, ok, be in the hall in ten minutes, can you look stunning in that time?" he said whilst grinning at me, he was obviously being sarcastic.

"I think I could, now get out." I shoved him out the door and began to sort out my hair and my make-up. I left my hair to curl naturally and left my make-up at the whole 'natural' thing. I didn't change, that would look to obvious. I picked up my broom from the corner of the room, and left. As I walked to the hall I could see that Scorpius and Al were waiting for me.

"Howdy y'all," I said alerting them to my presence. That was what Al meant when he said the whole thing about my quirky personality. Where someone would normally say 'hi', I say 'howdy', where someone normally would say 'what's up', I say 'where's the party', I'm quite bizarre really. It normally scares people when I'm acting up, I actually get extremely hyperactive in the weirdest situations, like in the middle of exams. I was quite hyper in my Charms O.W.L. practical, it was quite embarrassing. The other weird thing about me is the fact that when I swear, I swear in French.

"Hey Rosie, you ready?" my cousin asked after he heard me.

"Like a cooked turkey, I haven't flown for a week! Old Betsy's getting muscle seizures from not being exercised." Al burst out laughing.

"Rose, you've have that broom for a fortnight, and you're already calling it old? And since when did you name you're brooms?"

"Dude, she is old, if a broom is more than a day old, it's old. I had her baptised this morning."

"Aw, you didn't invite me; it would have been nice to be a godfather."

"Sorry man, that role's taken by Michael, in your hands over there."

"What about godmother?"

"Alas, old Penelope got that job; I don't know how she got over here from my garden shed without someone on her, mind." I could see Scorpius getting very confused in the corner, so could Al.

"I can see that someone's getting a bit confuzzled, we should get going." Al told us.

"Aw, Scorpius, are you confusled?"

"Nope, I'm perfectly fine. Do any of you two own a straight jacket?" _he_ was beginning to joke around now.

"Darn tootin', but I left it in my other trunk. Yippeecayay!" I said as we walked out.

"Rosie, may I have the fine honour of accompanying you to my quidditch pitch?"

"Aw Al, you know you're my garce."

"Ah Rosie, you and your witticisms."

"I know; I'm too funny for my own good."

"Not to seem dumb, but what does garce mean?" Scorpius asked, looking confused again.

"Aw, Al, he doesn't know what garce means. Actually, he's been confused by us for quite some time now, I think we should give him some schooling on my oddities."

"Hmm, I think you're right dear cousin, tell him what garce means, that should begin his schooling."

"Garce, blondie, is French for bitch, so Al here," Al inclined his head, "is my bitch, get the picture?"

"Righto, I think it's going to take me a while to get used to your humour."

"Not really, it took Al all of ten seconds."

"Yes, but I am a special case Rosie; I'm just as smart as you."

"Mais oui, you are, if not slightly less. I am of course Head Girl, yet you are a lowly pupil, not even a prefect, Scorpius nicked it from you."

"That is James' fault; he made me join him in his pranks."

"Oh, that was you as well? I thought that it was only my other cousin that did that."

"Gagner perdu, let's play, we have reached our destination."

"Magnifique, let's go, I want to feel the wind in my hair."

"How do you guys know so much French?" Scorpius asked us."

"Aunt Fleur," Al told him.

"Another blondie; I guess there must be more then red heads in this crazy world, even though most of my family are gingers, of different colours of course, not everyone has great hair like me." We got on our brooms and started playing after my remark, yet I thought I heard Scorpius mutter 'true' after I had spoken. It must've been the wind.

**AN: sooo... the reason i did this, was because i was getting sick of these fics about how they hate each other and get together, dont get me wrong i love them, it was just getting quite boring, Rose isnt emo, just because she self harms doesnot make her emo, hell, i hate stereotypes. rose is actually based a lot around me, i dont self harm, i have once but thats it. ive also written this building up to two moments. then ill leave you hanging and write another one maybe 2 different stories so youre going to have to get used to it.**


	4. Fascination

Chapter 4

It was quite a fun afternoon, even though it was with Scorpius, and he must've thought I was odd after what I was saying. I'd realised quickly that he was getting confused, but if I changed my attitude, he would either think it was something to do with him, or I was temperamental, and I wouldn't want him to think about either of those. I've worked hard to make sure that he doesn't know that I like him, and I don't want him to think I'm temperamental, that wouldn't be good. He talked to me a few times though. I think I was quite intimidating to him. I'm not normally intimidating, but I guess if you don't know me, I could be. I don't know, but I think I was babbling a lot, and I was speaking French randomly whenever I could. I either speak French when I'm swearing or I'm nervous, and I was nervous. There was yet another knock on my door. Al entered.

"Hey Rosie, I think that outing was quite productive."

"How, all I did was look like an idiot?"

"Tell that to Scorpius, he can't stop talking about you and your funny comments."

"Really, I thought I'd intimidated him?"

"Well you haven't, he's quite interested by you."

"Ok there are two things I will say to that. Numero uno: why the hell have I interested him, I'm not interesting? Numéro deux: I don't want him to be interested by me, I want him to be interested in me. Get the picture? "

"Right, answer to number one: you are very interesting, you have a dry humour, it must be refreshing for him, along with the fact that you are very smart, it's probably a relaxing break from those idiotic sluts that follow him around and can't string a sentence together."

"Yes, they are total sluts, especially because a few of them are pureblood Slytherins and just want to meet his dad. They normally wouldn't go out with him, considering he's a Gryff. Then there are those Hufflepuffs that would do anything to get into bed with anyone. Then there are the girls in my dorm that are just pure annoying with their beauty products and shit, I'm so glad I'll have a different dorm to them this year, even if I will be in the same thing as Scorpius, without going out with him. Give me a quill, I need to write."

* * *

I was beginning to enjoy my time at the Potter residence, I was enjoying the funny banter with Al, I was enjoying being around Scorpius, even though I felt invisible to him. Scorpius had begun to get used to the back and forth between Al and I. he sometimes joined in, though that was very rare, he mostly sat and sniggered. It was getting close to the end of the holidays, and I was getting extremely nervous about my upcoming predicament, I don't know how I'm going to be able to handle being in the same room alone with Scorpius without either telling him exactly how I feel, or killing myself.

* * *

"So, Rosie, looking forward to school?" Al asked me randomly, a week before school. All three of us were sitting outside, enjoying the sun.

"Meh, I don't know, I'm kind of looking forward to it, I like school, and I'll see all my friends, although a lot of them are my family, but the pressure is going to be huge, I need to get great grades to become a healer, and on top of that I'm head girl, I don't know if I can handle it."

"Dude, Rosie, you're the top in our year, you're going to get amazing grades, probably Os in everything."

"I don't think so Al, I wasn't doing so well in potions last year."

"Yeah you were, you're too modest, you need to eat some arrogance pie. Anyway, are _you _looking forward to school Scorpius?"

"Eh, I don't know, I haven't really thought about it."

"Got your eye on anyone? Huh, huh?"

"No, not at all." He said quickly before blushing.

"Oh yeah," Al said incredulously, "who is she then?"

"There's no one, most of the girls in our year are sluts."

"Hey," I shouted, "are you calling me a slut?!" the Weasley anger flared within me.

"n-no, w-why would I c-call you that?"

"You just said the girls in our year are sluts, and if you haven't noticed, I'm a girl."

"I said most, I didn't mean you were one." I began to laugh, "What's so funny?"

"I was just messing with you, you completely fell for it," Al high-fived me, "I know you wouldn't say that."

We spent the rest of the day, like we'd spent the past week, hanging out and having fun.

A/N i realise that the ending is quite abrupt but please review


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